Tuesday, January 9, 2018
298- How to WOW Your Congregation
Do you want to learn how to WOW your congregation?
Most worship leaders do, you know. And this is not about trying to make ourselves look or feel good, we want to connect our people with the Lord in worship in such a way that they are just blown away.
The last thing any worship leader wants is to just go through the motions every Sunday, week after week.!
Thursday, January 4, 2018
Reach Your Full Potential 5- Managing Time
Managing time is the next area we will look at in steps to fulfilling your full potential in Christ. We've learned that we need a clean heart and a clear mind, we need to use our God-given gifts and form right, godly relationships, and now this is the one I am dreading…
The next step is to have a Balanced Schedule… Ouch, this is going to hurt me and quite a few of you guys too!
Psalm 37:18
The LORD knows the days of the blameless, and their heritage will remain forever;
TIME FOR A CHANGE
Time is irreversible, it is irreplaceable, and it is God’s gift to you. Life doesn't come with action replays, or a rewind button. This is your life, this is it, your one shot or doing it right, or blowing it! Managing time wisely is an absolute essential in your becoming all that God wants you to become, and many talented, clean hearted, clear minded people have blown it at this hurdle.
Time is God’s gift to you, and what you do with your time is your gift to Him.
Psalms 139:16
Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
The Bible teaches that God measures our days, that He has them preordained and knows the time we have allotted. Time is a precious commodity, more precious than money or gold, yet we all squander it day after day, year after year. We need to Managing time better!
How we choose to spend the hours of our days, the days of our weeks and the weeks ahead of our years is vital to us reaching our potential. Squander time, and you throw away your potential. Manage it effectively, and you can become someone great in the Kingdom of God!
THE TIMES, THEY ARE A CHANGING
Bob Dylan sang it, and he was right… times are a changing, as they always have, but these days the pressure on us as human beings is more extreme than ever before. And our society preaches a mantra that is completely foreign to the people of God.
We are told to work hard, earn lots of money and retire to a great superannuation and a great life. I remember a story told about a simple fisherman relaxing in a hammock on the beach. A businessman came to him and told him he should do more work. Why? replied the fisherman. So you can earn money, then you can buy a bigger boat, employ staff, blitz the fish markets, earn more money, drive a bigger car and live in a bigger house. What then? Asked the fisherman.
Then you can expand, have several boats in a fishing fleet, then you can have several fleets, and have them all over the country, earn more money, then one day after 20-30 years, you can retire back to the beach and relax for the rest of your days.
But sir, replied the fisherman, I am already relaxing by the beach!
In Australia, we are told to work hard to earn money to buy things we didn't know we wanted or needed, then put loads of money away so we can retire and finally, at the age of 67, we can start to enjoy a life of leisure.
This is a crock, because things don't satisfy, only relationships and in particular serving the Lord bring true fulfilment that will last for eternity. You can be poor and genuinely live a fulfilled, wonderful, satisfying life! And as I have said to many of you here, God doesn't want you to retire, He wants you to refire!
Ephesians 5:15-16
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.
So we need to examine how we walk… Some versions say to walk circumspectly, which means to weigh risks and consequences before taking action. We must also be wise about what we do and, according to that verse, we must make the best use of time, or as the KJV puts it, redeeming the time.
Are you using your time effectively, or are you wasting it, or crowding it out with unnecessary things? Redeeming time means buying it back (as Christ redeems us), and it implies that every second counts!
HANG ON A MINUTE, IS MANAGING TIME THST EASY?
Seconds and minutes count! If you waste them, pretty soon you're wasting weeks, months and years! Managing time is essential.
In 1965 a testimony before a Senate subcommittee claimed the future looked bright for free time in America. By 1985, predicted the report, Americans would be working twenty-two hours a week and would be able to retire at age thirty-eight.
The reason? The computer age would usher in a gleaming array of advances that would do our work for us while stabilising our economy.
Take the household, they cited. Microwaves, quick-fix foods, and food processors will pave the way into the carefree future. And the office? Copiers will replace stencil machines, computers will replace filing cabinets, typewriters and even secretaries.
And now, years later, we have everything the report promised. But strangely, the average amount of leisure time has shrunk 37 percent since 1973. The average work week has increased from forty-one to forty-seven hours.
Why didn’t the forecast come true? What did the committee overlook? Simply this… They misjudged the appetite of the consumer. Yes we are more efficient, but the free time gained for us by technology didn’t make us relax; it made us run even harder. Gadgets provided more time . . . more time meant more potential money . . . more potential money meant more time needed . . . and round and round it went. Life grew louder as demands became greater. And as demands became greater, lives grew emptier.
“I’ve got so many irons in the fire, I can’t keep any of them hot,” complained one young father.
This is what life is like… passing us by if we let it, chasing after things that don't really matter!
James 4:14
yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.
100 years from now we will all be skeletons, every one of us. We spend so much time improving our bodies, making ourselves look good, using our talent, but these will all disappear in a heartbeat! No matter how old or young you are right now, it's time to stop and examine how we spend time!
When you reach the age of 70, you will have lived 840 months. That’s 25,550 days or 613,200 hours or 36,792,000 minutes—give or take a few minutes and hours associated with leap years.
All of it is a gift from God, and it's not yours... you must be a steward of this great gift. Managing time is important!
So let me challenge your management of time in 2 key ways…
1. MANAGING TIME AS AN INVESTMENT
If you think of time as an investment, you will want maximum return for your investment. We invest financially and expect good returns, and we invest in our health and bodies expecting good results, but we often squander our most precious commodity… time!
So when Managing time, decide what's important… what's really important, and invest you time into that. Is TV important in eternity? Is Facebook? Is your job? Is your house? Why do we invest such huge slabs of time into things that ultimately do not matter?
2. MANAGING TIME AS A BALANCE
When Managing time think of time in terms of bucket of rocks. Put the big things in before you add the little things, otherwise the big things will not fit. You should prioritise your tasks and schedule the important things first. And what are important things? That's the question, isn’t it? Is TV watching important?… not really. Is prayer and reading the Word important? Yes, so prioritise your time!
WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?
To discover the right way to steward your time, you can do no better than looking at Jesus…
Jesus never justified His schedule, He never made excuses for what He did, and never apologised for not being able to help someone.
Jesus was never hurried or flustered. He took His time, even when Lazarus was ill, knowing timing was all part of God’s master plan.
Jesus did not find His schedule stressful. He got tired, and He took time to recover. He never forced the pace, He was comfortable with how He managed the time pressures He faced.
So to finish this message off, let's look at how Jesus invested and managed time…
1. TIME FOR PRAYER AND BIBLE STUDY
Mark 1:35
And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed.
Jesus always, always found time to pray! He started His day with it, and so should you and I!
For many of us, prayer is a last resort. We turn to praying when things are going wrong for us. Prayer should not be a way through crisis, it should be a way of life. It was for Jesus!
Philippians 4:6-7
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Prayer brings peace, it allows God to speak to you and lets you be still even in a storm. I don't just need this when I face a major crisis, I need this peace, this alignment with the Spirit of God every single day, and so do you.
And married to prayer is the study of God's Word. I am committed to the study God's Word every day, and every morning I spend time in prayer and Bible Study. That's why I designed the Bible reading plan for our church, not to burden you and soak up time you haven't got, but to release you into all God has for you. If you are too busy to pray and read His Word, you're just too busy! Managing time is required.
John Wesley would rise up at 4 AM every day to seek God for the first four hours of the day. In his later years Wesley was known to spend up to 8 hours in prayer.
When asked what he did if he faced a busy day, he replied that he got up earlier, because a busy day required more prayer!
So turn of that TV, get out of Facebook, get off the computer and open God's Word!
Jesus prioritised time in prayer and learning the Scriptures, and so should we!
2. TIME FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Jesus made time for family and good friends. He attended weddings, feasts and dinners and even in the cross was concerned for his mother’s provision. He had close friends like Mary, Martha and Lazarus, and he had meals with loads of people, from close friends like Lazarus to Zacchaeus. He had His disciples He hung out with day in and day out, and was closest to 3 of them in particular, Peter, James and John.
On His last night alive, knowing He was facing imminent death, He chose to spend it with His closest friends, the disciples. And He said this…
John 15:15
No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
Jesus valued family and friends, and prioritised spending time with them. And so should we!
3. TIME FOR WORK
Jesus had a busy schedule and He made time for His work, teaching, preaching and healing. In 3 short years of ministry, He invested time into His work, training and preparing the disciples for the future, teaching in synagogues and touching people's lives.
We have a responsibility to work. The Bible doesn't teach us to be slackers or bludgers, and the Word retirement is never mentioned in the Bible. What we have to discover is the right balance between working for money and working for the Kingdom. As your pastor, I combine the two, and I'd encourage you to do so also. I put time into being an Optometrist, and overtime into serving the Lord in church.
If you find yourself with less time working, say through retirement, unemployment or great time management, I want to encourage you to use the available time at least in part serving the Lord.
Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,
I am committed to working hard and serving the Lord in the church, and in secular work. I endeavour to do everything as unto the Lord, not man. Whatever I put my hand to, I believe that I will see it prosper, because I do it for Jesus, not for money or pride. And He takes my feeble efforts and crowns them with great success, and He will do the same for you!
But here's what I have learned…
Being active does not automatically mean that you are effective.
Being busy does not automatically mean that you are productive.
Being overbooked and overextended does not automatically mean that you are profitable.
Let me confess to you my sin right now… it's the tyranny of the urgent! I once read a small book and realised that my time is often most heavily governed by what appears urgent, not what's important. As a pastor, there are so many urgent pressures, so many people with needs, but I need God's wisdom to discern the important, not react to the urgent!
Ask God to make your work time profitable for the Kingdom, and let Him have His way with your work. But we need to find balance in our work, and I have tremendous trouble finding the balance. Managing time is important.
Being a workaholic is as damaging as being slothful. Laziness is not taking time off work, but wasting the time we have on things that do not matter. Watching TV, playing computer games, crafts, Facebook, YouTube, they are all fine, unless they start to dominate your life. But work is the same.
One of the great lessons I have learned being a bivocational pastor is segmentation. At work, I have set hours and I work, and often work hard. But I leave work at work. I have learned to write sermons, have meetings and make calls in between appointments in my working day.
Jesus prioritise work, but He also balanced it to minimise stress and pressure. And so should we!
And don't take your work home and stew on it all night either! Managing time is essential.
4. TIME FOR WORSHIP
Even in His busy schedule, Jesus made time to attend the synagogue and worship with others. We are instructed to gather with believers and to not stop attending church…
Hebrews 10:24-25
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
I meet Christians all the time who say they love the Lord but hate church, and believe me I understand that. Often church is long, boring, overly religious, irrelevant in many ways and somewhere between useless and painful. If I make it useless and painful, I apologise.
You can be a Christian and not go to church, but that's not normal. You can be married and not live together, but that's not normal either. If church is a waste of time, find another church, but don't throw away the tremendous benefit of meeting with other believers!
Especially with the caliber of people we have in this church. They can encourage you, care for you, help you in times of crisis. They can challenge you, inspire you and stand with you. Our church is a family, and it's a great family. Sure every family has a weird cousin, but we love each other. If you need a great church, this is it!
If you are too busy to come to church, I guarantee you your spiritual life will suffer. We need each other, and that's how God designed church. Managing time is important.
Jesus prioritised meeting with believers, and so should we!
5. TIME FOR RELAXATION AND REST
Jesus relaxed and rested often, and so should we!
Mark 6:31
And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.
In our modern, workaholic lives we need to hear this. Come Ye apart or come Ye apart… if you don't, you will!
Rest and relaxation will restore your energy, rejuvenate your soul, refresh your relationship with family and friends, and renew your walk with the Lord.
I used to think if I wasn't busy I was idle. I even felt guilty of I took time to relax, because there was always something else to do! But calculated time to relax is not idleness but reenergising.
Just this week God spoke to me in my quiet time…
Psalm46:10
Be still, and know that I am God
In the midst of turmoil and strife, overwhelmed with the storms of life, the psalmist said be still. And in Hebrew, the word doesn't mean waste your time, it doesn't mean run from your troubles, it is a command and it literally means cease striving. It means total rest, to go limp, to drop down, to sink to relax and to withdraw.
We all need rest. For you it could mean to go fishing, play a game, spend time with people you love, travel somewhere exotic. It might mean, and I don't understand this, go shopping! Managing time is different for different people.
Matthew 11:28
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Jesus prioritised rest and relaxation. He needed it, and so do we!
6. TIME FOR SLEEP
I have always thought that sleep was me wasting my time. To this day I struggle to sleep well, and struggle to turn my brain off! I am preaching to myself, because I am a self confessed workaholic. I find leisure hard to take and sleep illusive at times. Without sleep you can only keep life up for so long!
Studies show that in our society most adults are sleep deprived, not just mums! If you get 4-5 hours sleep a night, that's half of what experts say you really need.
During deep, sound sleep, your bodies hormone levels are rebalanced and reset for the next day’s activities, dead cells are replaced with new ones and your immunity is built up to help you fight off bacterial and viral infections. Doctors tell us that sleep is one of the most therapeutically beneficial prescriptions for those struggling with physical ailments, mental disorders, or emotional exhaustion.
In Matthew 8:23-26, Jesus slept so soundly he slept through a raging storm in a boat! Why? Because He knew He needed to rejuvenate His body to serve properly. So take steps to get enough sleep!
In the 21st century, blue light is an issue. Studies show that using blue light producing equipment like iPads, kindles, computers and the like reduces the production of melatonin, and literally wakes you up. So, your Optometrist says, don't use blue light emitting devices in the hour before you sleep, or get blue guard on your glasses!
Jesus prioritised sleep, and so should we!
7. TIME FOR HEALTH
Jesus lived a healthy life. He walked everywhere, miles and miles a day. He was fit and healthy. Are you?
Health has 3 aspects… reducing stress, eating properly and exercising appropriately. Do you eat the right things? Do you exercise?
As far as food goes, here's Pastor Darin's 3 golden rules…
- If you get it from a drive through, don't eat it.
- If it has a mascot, don't eat it
- If a native crawled out of the jungle, would he recognise it. If he wouldn't, don't eat it!
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
Some of us are busy expanding the walls of God's temple! We need to get serious about what we eat and how we exercise, see Lynn Preece.
And this includes what we do with our bodies. God wants you to abstain from things that cause you harm. This includes sexual immorality, drugs, stress or anything else. I remember one little girl who thought smokers must love Jesus more because they want to get to heaven quicker than everybody else.
Jesus prioritised health, and so should we!
IT’S TIME TO MAKE TIME FOR WHAT REALLY MATTERS!
Managing time, as we discussed, is limited. And we all get the same amount. Great men of God get no more time than I do, they just learn to use it more effectively.
Do you want to maximise your time? Do you want to reach your full potential in God? Do you really want to change and impact the world for Christ? Do you? Then join me in consecrating or setting aside time for what really matters
Ephesians 5:15-16
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.
If you like me struggle to balance your time, I want you to come forward and give your time to the Lord. Ask Him to reveal how you should use your time, and let's get this imbalance back into balance.
I once made a commitment to the Lord… no Bible, no breakfast. It changed my life. I have had a quiet time, read the Bible and prayed almost every day for the last 30 years, and have never consistently eaten breakfast. Will you join me in making this commitment too? Managing time can be a huge asset.
Wednesday, January 3, 2018
Reach Your Full Potential 4- Right Relationships
Right relationships is the next thing on our list. I've been discussing how you can reach your full potential in Christ, and I am loving some of the feedback. When you share a series like this, you wonder if people are just going to sit there content with wherever their life is at. But I've found many of you want to become significant and even hugely significant in your life for Christ. You want to make a difference. You want to become the best you can possibly be!
I've been discussing how you can reach your full potential in Christ, and I am loving some of the feedback. When you share a series like this, you wonder if people are just going to sit there content with wherever their life is at. But I've found many of you want to become significant and even hugely significant in your life for Christ. You want to make a difference. You want to become the best you can possibly be!
I encourage all of you, don't shoot for average. Listen to this old rhyme…
“Only one life, twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.”
We've seen the steps to reaching your full potential so far are to have a clean heart, a clear mind and to recognise and dedicate to the Lord the gifts He has given you. Today is going to impact some of you very profoundly, because the next step according to Dr Charles Stanley is having right relationships.
Some relationships drain you, others build into you. If you want to minister to people you need both, but your closest allies must be those that build into your life, not drain you. Right relationships matter!
YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE
Never underestimate the power of influence. What people say and do around you influences you, unless you live in a bubble.
All through your journey in life you have people surrounding you, even if you're an introvert! You'll never walk alone, and you can't walk through life alone. So pause for a moment and consider those closest to you. Do they add to your life, or drag you down? Do they draw you closer to God, or encourage you to take up an old sin again? Are they fun, or do they suck the fun out of the air around them? Do both sides of the relationship contribute, or do you give and they take? Do they make you a better person?
Henry Ford said, “My best friend is the one who brings the best out in me.” One famous marketer I read said, “You are the product of the 5 people closest to you.” So who are the five closest to you, and what influence do they bring to your life?
The problem with people is that they're people. How many of you know that every relationship at some point has the good, the bad and the ugly. You'll never walk alone, but boy, sometimes you wish you could!
And even in church we don't do relationships right. Plenty of conflict, always has been!
Acts 15:39-40
And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord.
In the church, you don't have to see eye to eye, but you need to walk hand in hand, arm in arm, into the future God has for each of us.
People in your life bring influence. As a pastor I can tell you that I'm influenced every week by people around me. Most are encouraging, many speak into my life and build me up, but hardly a week goes by that someone, somehow tries to shoot me down. Apparently the official uniform for a pastor is a target right over the heart! Don't underestimate influence.
WELCOME TO THE PEOPLE ROLLERCOASTER
Even People you love and cherish have their moments! Even right relationships are a rollercoaster ride full of ups and downs. They don't flow smoothly from day to day, year to year, and that's how God designed them. Relationships involve giving and receiving, and sometimes the balance is out of whack. In any relationship, sometimes people hurt people, and what's more hurt people hurt other people more!
Like it or not, life is a team sport. Good times and bad, ups and downs, living life takes a team, and you're in it. This church has relationships that many times are awesome, them sometimes are very strained. People… can't live with em, can't live without em!
Even in Marriage, the closest of all human relationships, I have to tell you sometimes we don't so much enjoy marriage as endure it. We have ups and downs, sometimes more of one than the other. It's the old joke, that marriage is a 3 ring circus… first the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering, and it's true. Some aspects of marriage are tough. Fiona says in marriage we are perfectly designed to grind, and she's right!
PLUS OR MINUS FRIENDS
Every relationship has either a positive or negative effect on your life. Obviously, we want to have more of the positive than the negative people around us, but here's the tricky bit… we can't always choose people we interact with.
Think about it… you didn't choose your parents or siblings, you didn't choose your school or church when you were young, because your parents did! As a child you had no opportunity to choose who became a major influencer in your life. You were a kid, they were there!
As an adult, you have the opportunity to make clear and definite choices about who you want in your life. You can choose who you marry, but you can't choose your children, you kind of get what you get! You can choose who influences your life to a greater degree, but not exclusively. You cannot restrict people you don't like from your work or school, or even church. You can choose your church, but not who else is in your church. I'm the pastor, and I can't choose just the good ones… part of church is accepting and loving even negative people!
But what you can choose is who you will listen to, who you will allow close to you and who you invest your time in. Years ago, Fiona and I were being pulled every which way by the people in our life, and we sat down and categorised them into positive or negative. Too many negative people and they drag us down, burn us out and stop us helping others in genuine need.
Some people build you up, some drag you down. Some challenge you, others drain you. If you have a desire to minister, you will want both types of people in your life, but too many of the negative influences will lead to burn out and drain your life and energies. You will not reach your full potential surrounding yourself with negative people. Right relationships matter.
1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
So poor choices of friends can ruin your walk with God and your life. We go like the company we keep, so keep the right company. And sometimes we are so ignorant, we ban our children from other kids because we think they're bad influences, yet we tolerate bad influences in our own lives!
So what characterises the right, positive, godly friend that you want in your life?
RIGHT RELATIONSHIPS TO ACQUIRE- TOP 10 BEST FRIEND CHARACTERISTICS
So who is the type of person you want influencing your life in Right relationships? They should…
1. BUILD YOUR FAITH
Right relationships build your faith in God, and also in yourself. They help you believe for greater things and pursue higher goals, and keep you looking up…
Colossians 3:2
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.
2. COMFORT YOU AND PICK YOU UP
We all face pain in life, and sometimes we just need a friend to comfort us. A friend in need is a friend indeed, so sometimes a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on or a hug when you need it can make all the difference.
Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Right relationships build you up when you are feeling down. We all face troubles in life, and having someone to encourage you can make such a difference…
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
3. STIMULATE YOU TO GREATER CREATIVITY
Right relationships cause an exchange of new ideas and insight which can stir up your creative juices. I know in my life I have friends that stir up my music, preaching and even work creativity, and this is an awesome thing!
4. ENERGISE YOU
Friends should, at least most of the time, cause joy in your life. Laughter and joyful conversation produces endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers. So the Bible is right…
Nehemiah 8:10
the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
5. DEFEND YOU
A real friend will defend you when you are criticised or persecuted. This is a key point, because if they gossip about you and promote criticism, they are not the positive friend that you want.
Proverbs 16:28
A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.
6. FORGIVE YOU
I know it's a shock, but believe it or not you are I have faults and flaws. Sometimes I think I have more flaws that the Empire State Building, but certainly we make mistakes. A good friend is quick to forgive and then move forward.
Friends that keep bringing up sins that should be forgiven and throwing them at you are not ideal. That being said, if you've betrayed their trust, it takes time for them to trust you again. That's not lack of forgiveness, it is wariness and pain in their part (such as in marital affairs, etc.).
Luke 17:4
and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
7. LOVE YOU AT YOUR WORST
A real friend loves you when you are at your worst, maybe tired, irritable or even without your makeup on! They recognise that you may lash out at them when you're not on top of things, and they cut you some slack. Doesn't make it right, just makes them worthy friends.
8. ACCEPT YOU AS YOU ARE
While change and improvement is always possible, the right friend doesn't see you as their fix-it-up project. A relationship based on one party always trying to change the other is not healthy, and many marriages are like this. They walk down the aisle, to the altar, while they're playing and hymn, and she thinks that's how their marriage will be… I’ll alter him!
Ephesians 4:2-3
with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Maintaining unity in the church, accepting one another warts and all is more important than being right! Right relationships matter.
9. CONFRONT YOU WHEN YOU ARE WRONG
Real friends accept your personality, but are not afraid to confront you when you're wrong, even if it is hard to hear. Helpful insights and challenges characterise a great friend. The difference here is that they're trying to improve you, not altering what God made you to be.
Luke 17:3
If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him,
10. SERVE YOU
Right relationships are there to help you become who you should be in your life. They will actually put time and effort into helping you achieve what God has destined for you. Mark10:45
They put you first, before their own interests and comfort. That's what love does!
So these are the relationships to acquire, but what about…
RELATIONSHIPS TO AVOID
People build into your life, either positively or negatively. Get around positive people, but avoid the minus people. I'm not saying necessarily to cut them off, but avoid allowing them to become the influencers in your life.
1. DIM YOUR VISION
Avoid someone who questions everything you try to do and become in Christ.
2. DISCOURAGE YOU FROM REACHING YOUR POTENTIAL
People who are jealous of your time or abilities should be avoided. Someone who always wants you to do it their way is not going to help you reach your potential.
3. MAKE DEMANDS OF YOU
Some people are demanding all the time. In particular, they feel they can demand your time, perhaps more than you are prepared to commit to the relationship.
4. DRAG YOU DOWN
Avoid pessimistic, defeatist people like the plague, because they will always see the negative and find reasons why you can't or won't succeed.
I'm not saying don't minister to them , I'm saying don't let them become influencers.
5. DERAIL YOU
People who constantly tempt you to do evil, and stop you doing what you know you should are an influence you cannot afford. If you've come from a particular background, you may have a heart to reach your old friends and that's great, but not if you are not strong enough to withstand their efforts to derail your walk with the Lord. Drug culture, pubs, promiscuity.
6. DEFEAT YOU
Some friends try and defeat you all the time, by frustrating or discouraging you or being constantly in competition with you. You don't need these guys in your life! I once had a friend who was a great dancer, until his wife told him he looked like a pansy. No more dancing ever, her negative destroyed his dream!
7. DESTROY YOUR TESTIMONY
So called friends who seek to ruin your career, ministry or witness for Jesus are not friends at all. You might want to witness to them, but don't let them too close!
CAUGHT IN A TRAP!
Some of you are sitting here thinking,”Oh no, I'm trapped in that negative relationship already.”
When you first meet people they tend to be on their best behaviour. They want you to like them, and you want them to like you. So you like them, and you let them close, but what happens if over time the real personality comes out and they're a big fat minus?
This happens a lot in marriage, so girls especially, don't rush in! Even in relationships at church, take your time and choose your close friends carefully. Recognise that even in a Christian marriage your partner cannot meet all your needs. In any relationship, even if you feel trapped, only God can truly meet your needs, not any person.
But what if you're trapped there right now, caught in a relationship that is destined to destroy you. What can you do? 4 possible ways to deal with it…
1. PRAY FOR CHANGE
Pray for people. This is especially effective in marriage (Movie- The War Room). In relationships you want to pursue and are committed to, like a marriage, then pray don't say.
It's tempting to constantly try and make them change, but this is usually perceived as nagging. You need to believe that God can change them, because He can, so save your fighting for the prayer closet, not the dinner table and not just before church starts!
2. FORSAKE YOUR DREAMS
Sadly many people do this. You can give in to their negativity and give up your dreams. You have one life, and if you want to throw it away, you can, but you will regret it for eternity. Don't do this!
3. CUT THEM OFF
If someone is constantly bringing you down, criticising, destroying, tempting, hurting or discouraging you, you can choose to sever the relationship, or at least cool it off. If you have friends like this, distance yourself from them. If you have relatives who upset you every time you see them, avoid them… keep them at arms length. Don't let them become influential in your destiny!
Don't send them a resignation letter, don't make a public service announcement, just distance yourself from them if their negative influence is controlling your destiny.
Let me clarify, I am not advocating your destroying your family or divorcing your partner. The decision to separate is complex, and has many far reaching effects, but this particularly applies to friendships. You cannot just cut people off who offend you, especially if you're married to them. But if they are friends, bringing evil influences into your life, you may need to cut them off.
4. QUARANTINE THEIR INFLUENCE
In a relationship you must persist with, for example a marriage, if the other party isn't behaving well, pray by all means but quarantine their influence on your life. If you let them stop you from reaching your destiny, they win, and you lose. You lose your destiny.
So if you have negative influencers in your life close to you, you'd love for them to change, but maybe they won't. If they do not or will not change, you can stick with them, love them, care for them, but you have to stop them negatively influencing you.
It's important to have healthy boundaries.
Ultimately you will stand before the Lord, alone. Salvation is free, but the Judgement Seat of Christ is for believers, all of us saved, but many destined to have vastly different rewards…
2 Corinthians 5:10
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.
Saying, “My friend or husband told me not to” is never going to cut it.
Listen love them, pray for them, but don't let their sin, their hangup or their standards influence you. Draw a line in the sand and say “Enough!” Tell them that you are going to obey Christ, and they can come or not, their decision, but you are doing it! You need to follow Christ and reach your full potential, whether they come with you or not. So if they don't want to go to church, you can't make them, but don't let them stop you from coming.
Please don't become a casualty of someone else's bad influence!
VALUE RIGHT RELATIONSHIPS
So we've looked at what right relationships look like, and what bad look like. We've also talked about what you can do if you're caught in a bad relationship.
But the central message is this… seek out positive friends and relationships, especially in church, then pursue them, value them and let them bring influence to your life.
Proverbs 12:26
The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Through His body the Church, the Lord weaves our lives together and interconnects us so as the body of Christ, so we become mighty testimonies about God's love and transforming power. Every relationship in some way contributes to God’s transformative work in you and through you. Your relationships will change you, either more like Christ, or less… to reach your potential you need to be wise and strong enough to choose the Right relationships.
The true measure of a relationship is the fruit
Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
Even in church, with godly people and loads of positivity, there will be times of conflict… and what matters most is how you respond to those times.
In Matthew 18 Jesus lays out a clear pattern of how you should respond to those who upset you in church. Jesus spoke these words in the context of forgiveness and caring for the integrity of fellowship. I've seen churches blown apart because of disagreements between 2 individuals. He makes it clear that we will have disappointments and conflict within the fellowship of believers. Yet Jesus was concerned with our response to these conflicts. If we refuse to face the problem, it will not go away; it will simply go underground and fester, giving the evil one a foothold to bring disharmony within the body of Christ (see Ephesians 4:25–27).
We are called to live in the light of God’s presence, which includes bringing our conflicts into the open so that we can properly deal with them. Some people call this practice “keeping short accounts.” This means that we address an offence or problem (committed by us or against us) as soon as possible. We don’t let a “debt” accumulate the interest of bitterness by waiting to see whether the other person will change.
Bottom line, we are not perfect friends in church, but we can be positive influencers of those around us. We can show love instead of hurt, and forgiveness instead of bitterness.
Your relationships determine the ways in which you pursue your potential and accomplish God’s plan your life. Have godly, right relationships that God honours, blesses, and uses for His purposes, or get sucked into the wrong relationships, the choice is now yours!
Coast Church is a great place to find positive influencers and friends. Ask God to help you with choosing and developing your relationships. Pray for Him to send the right people into your life, and around you at church. Ask the Lord to help you discern whether a certain relationship is right for you. Trust God to be an active participant for good in every relationship.. And if it's not right, bale out sooner rather than later.
Today, look at those 5 influencers in your life. I want to pray specifically for people who feel trapped in the wrong relationship. To response correctly you are going to need prayer and support. This church is a loving, caring church, full of people who are dedicated to bringing positive, long term blessing and influence to your life.
Secondly, if you feel alone, and disconnected, I want you to come to the front also, and just let our team love you in prayer.
Tuesday, January 2, 2018
296- Making Christmas Special
Making Christmas special in worship leading is important, because at this time more than others people come to church. OK, Christmas is special, but if we as worship leaders do what we do effectively, this could be one of the greatest times for evangelism and salvation in the year.
You Can Have Fun Making Christmas Special
Christmas does not need to be burdensome. If you start early and prepare well, you can have fun making Christmas special, even though you tend to use songs only at this time of the year. Preparing your Christmas presentation does take time, and usually a little more effort, but the rewards can be huge. Most churches see a massive influx of non-believers at this time of year, and you have the incredible privilege and honour of being able to minister to them and share the gospel with them in a way you could never do any other way! And that is the great thing about Christmas, and indeed leading worship at Christmas. You have access to p[eople who would not otherwise be going to church, you also have the opportunity to use some very powerful and compelling Christmas songs, many of which contain gospel influences. Plus, you can put together a presentation that is not only making Christmas special, but is also fun to watch, fun to be a part of and challenging to the congregation. Christmas really is a special time, and you can have fun and be challenged yourself by making Christmas special this year. Darin and Erick talk about this and discuss fantastic ways you can make a real difference, and use this fabulous opportunity to reach out in hope to people who are growing more and more disillusioned with the modern, selfish and prejudiced world. So settle back, have a listen and discover how to make this Christmas special, in your life and in the life of your church...
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